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Pastor of Griggs in Greenville, SC. I write about the gospel, the church, and the soul. 

Find a Friend

Find a Friend

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One close friend is better than a hundred acquaintances. Do you agree or disagree?

When I was in college I had hundreds of friends. I was eating lunch or dinner with someone different every day, going out to coffee with one group, then leaving to watch the game with another group. Eight years after graduation, I talk to less than five of my friends from college on a weekly basis. They're the friends who really know me and really love me. 

Some people tend to have a lot of acquaintances and very few close friends if any. They look popular but are actually lonely. They get so anxious about keeping up appearances for their acquaintances that they never dive into friendship with any of them for fear of rejection.

Therefore, they have no one to confess their anxiety to, which keeps the cycle going because confession paves the way to calmness. Now, I say confession, but I don't necessarily mean that all anxiety is sin. I simply use that word to mean sharing your struggle.

"A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." - Proverbs 18:24

Who really knows you? Like really knows you? There is a friend out there that sticks closer than even a blood-relative. There is someone out there who can hear your anxieties, hear your fears, no matter how personal or how awkward, and stick with you.

You need them. Openness and confession allow you to lay your burdens down. Sometimes confession, just speaking your fear out loud, releases you from that fear altogether. There's something about sharing your state with another person that gives you extreme clarity of mind, helping you navigate your anxiety. You may even find yourself laughing at something you were dreading a few days ago.

So again, I ask, who really knows you? Pray for a friend to stick out amongst your acquaintances. Seek friendship, risking rejection, for rejection is better than holding in what needs to be confessed. Practice confession, open up a little bit, then a little bit more, figuring out who you can trust, until you're freely discussing your thoughts and feelings with someone without reservation.

Don't kick yourself for opening up, or wonder what they're thinking now that they really know you. Even if their response is less than ideal, it's probably better than yet another fakey, polite acquaintance. 

Until you find a friend that sticks closer than a brother, confess all your fears and anxieties to Jesus. "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." If he laid down his life for you, then he's definitely ready to be more than an acquaintance.

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Quietness

Quietness